I've Been Here The Whole Time
by It's Lauren Elizabeth
Summary: Deeks and Kensi start to fight; Deeks tries to explain his feelings for her but she becomes oblivious and tell him he's in danger. Hate summaries. Kensi/Deeks Rated T for now.


**CHAPTER ONE: I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME**

"I'm sorry, Deeks. I need time to myself." Kensi said. She had just had a conversation with an person from her past.

"C'mon, Princess. Tell me what's wrong!" Deeks insisted she speak and as he followed her. She turned around quickly and angrily.

"DEEKS! Just leave me alone! I don't want to talk!" She yelled. Deeks knew something was up. This wasn't the normal Kensi, yet again, this wasn't the normal Deeks either. Deeks had been hiding something, something that he probably should speak up about.

"Okay." Deeks walked away. He wanted to chase after. He wanted run after he. He loved her, secretly and it killed him that she didn't realize it.

"You okay, Deeks?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah, yeah." Deeks replied. Nobody bought it, but let it go.

"Have you seen Kens?" Callen asked.

"No. She went that way, I think." He pointed.

"Well Eric needs us in the bullpen. Get Kensi and bring her up. We got another case." Callen said as he and Sam walked upstairs. Deeks called Kensi's phone several times, yet no answer. He didn't know what was wrong, but he needed to tell her, and tell her quick.

"Kensi? Please call me. Please. We need to talk, but that can wait. We have another case and Eric need you in the bullpen. Please, Kens. Call me back." He hung up. The building wasn't that big so Deks was trying to think of someplace where she would go. Firing range. He walked through the door and sure enough, Kensi was in there.

"Kensi?" Deeks said.

"Please go away, Deeks." Kensi asked quite calm, yet with anger in her voice.

"Kens, they need you in the bullpen," Deeks mentioned. "But I need to talk to you."

"What could you possibly want, Deeks? What? Can't you just go, go back to LAPD or something?" Kensi was tearing up, but hiding the visible tears. What she said made Deeks cry inside.

"No, no I can't Kens." Deeks said strugglingly. Kensi tried to get past him but he wouldn't let her. "I can't because I-I love you, Kens." She paused and looked at the ground. "I've been bottling up this feeling for you for so long and everytime I try to tell you that I have feelings for you, feelings that life itself can't sum up to, you take it as a joke or become totally oblivous to me! Kensi, I've been here, in front of you the whole time! You need to open your eyes! I love you, Kens. Ever since I met you, you were special, most amazing, most confident, most beautiful woman I've ever met and it kills me that you keep pushing me away."

He pauses for a moment and while Deeks was pouring his heart out for Kensi, she was thinking of a way to explain to Deeks that his life is in danger because of something she did. She found a man who toured with Jack, her ex-fiancee and wondered how he was doing. The man told Kensi that Jack wants Deeks dead, and has been following him for over a month now. That because they are partners, Jack thought that Deeks was her boyfriend or even husband.

"Deeks, I-I-you need to go into protective custody." Kensi said. He listened to every word she said and decided that maybe he should go back to LAPD.

"No, I'l just go back to LAPD. If that's what you want, I will. I just told you several times that I loved you and you have to tell me that I need to get protection, then fine, we can have it your way." He started to walk away.

"Jack wants you dead." Kensi said. He stopped. "My Jack. My ex-Jack. He wants you dead. I wanted you to go back to LAPD for a while so you will be safe. He wants you dead because of me, because we are partners."

"So you're saying that your ex-fiancee with PTSD wants me dead because you are my partner. Is this true or are you making it up because you can't tollerate me anymore?" Deeks asked and started to walk away too.

"No, why would you think that. I'm not lying and I have proof. Proof that he's been stalking you and I wouldn't be telling you think if I didn't care about you. You look at me. I'm choosing to protect you over a man that I once loved and was engaged to because I care about you." She said. He was staring at her now.

"Yeah, okay, Kens. I'll do what you said and go back to LAPD." He said. "...and it's okay. I can protect myself." Deeks walked out of the firing range angry that she just won't open her eyes. Callen stopped Deeks at his desk.

"Where have you been? Where's Kensi?" He asked.

"She's in the firing range, and I've been with Hetty. I'm going back to LAPD." Deeks replied with a monotone voice.

"What the hell? What's going on between you too?" Callen asked.

"Why don't you ask Kensi. She can tell you." Deeks answered.

"Not what I asked. What is wrong with you and Kensi? She keeps avoiding you and you keep annoying her. I mean, that's normal, but she doesn't avoid-" Callen said but was cut off by Deeks.

"I'm trying to tell her that I have feelings for her and she's not opening her friggin' eyes. I've been here the whole time! I can't do this anymore. I just told her many times over and over in the range that I've been standing here waiting for her to realize that I'm in love with her and all she could tell me that her ex-fiancee has a hit on my back. So I told her that I'm going back to LAPD and that I can protect myself. Just put in my paperwork." Deeks finished clearing off his desk. One thing he didn't pack was a little note that said.

_'If only you could look up and realize what you've had in front of you since we met.'_

"Tell the rest of the team I said bye." Deeks said and walked out. Callen didn't interject because he knew Deeks was in rare form. If they needed Deeks, they knew where to find him.

"Callen, I know where Jack is, and I know where Deeks is, and I can tell you that we need to get Deeks. He is in danger. Deeks is at the beach and Jack won't hesitate to make a move on Deeks because I'm not there. Deeks doesn't know what Jack looks like so he won't be warned. Please, Callen. Please. You've got to help me!" Kensi pleaded to the man who now, was cleaning his gun. She was slightly crying, but holding most of the tears back.

"I don't know, Kens. Deeks seemed like he didn't want to talk or hear or see you agai-" Callen started.

"Don't you dare say that. He knows I was just trying to protect him. You know what, I'll go by myself." Kensi said as she walked out.

Kensi didn't want to face Jack, yet she didn't want to face Deeks. Deeks didn't want to face her mostly. She drove to the beach and sure enough, she saw Jack there. Deeks was in the water surfing, well, more like sitting on his board. It looked like he was pissed. Jack was on the beach, about 100 yards away and yeah, he looked like he was going to go after Deeks. Kensi snuck up after Jack just in time. Jack had pulled out a pistol and walked a good 50 yards so that when Deeks came up, he would be able to catch Deeks off guard.

"Jack, stop it right there!" Kensi said. She had her gun pointed at her ex-fiancee who's gun was pointed at Deeks. "Jack, I said stop it right there! You don't have to do this."

"Kensi, what are you doing?" Deeks asked.

"What are you doing with my wife?" Jack spoke.

"Jack, she is not your wife. You left her, remember?" Deeks said puting his hands up and walking out of the water slowly.

"Jack, I said stop it right there! Please, Jack. I don't want to shoot you, but I will if you don't put the gun down." Kensi said.

Jack was about to pull the trigger, but Kensi got to it first shooting Jack and then running after him. Deeks wasn't far behind.

"I told you I was okay. You didn't have to do it!" Deeks yelled. Kensi was tearing up as her ex-fiancee bled out from Kensi's gunshot wound to the abdomen. "I would've rather you let him shoot me! You would've been happ-"

"Shut up, Deeks! He's trying to speak!" Kensi screamed.

"Yo-you be-good to-her." Jack spoke him last words pointing up at Deeks.

"Dammit Deeks!" Kensi said as she walked to her car. Deeks walked over to his towel and phone.

"Yeah Eric. Call for an ambulance and transport for a body from Venice Beach." Deeks said.

"Yeah, okay." Eric replied and hung up. Meanwhile, Deeks called Kensi, but she didn't answer.

"Kens, please call me back. I need to speak with you. It's really important. I-I just really need to talk with you."

Deeks drove back to his place. He felt so guilty and took Jack's death as his fault. He needed to talk to Kensi, but couldn't risk what he thought little they had left in their friendship. He walked into his house and almost peed his pants. Kensi was sitting on the couch, slightly crying, but held herself together and staring into mid-air.

"What are you doing here, Kens?" He asked.

"You. You said before that you wanted to go back to LAPD. You yelled at me to open my eyes because you were right in front of me. You said that you loved me. " Kensi said her voice elevating everytime she mentioned another thing he said in the firing range. "You told me thought that I was ignoring you when I was simply thinking what was necessary to know. You can tell me a thousand times that you love me, but I can only tell you once that my ex-fiancee wanted you dead or else I would lo-or else I would lose the man I love and not be able to hear him say he loves me." Kensi was now calm, but still tearing up. She was still staring into mid-air.

"You-you love me?" He said as he stepped closer placing his bag on the ground.

"Now, I think I might regret saying this, but yeah, I do." She replied.

"You couldn't let me know. You killed Jack today. You couldn't tell me that. Kens, you told me that he had a hit on me, but you left out the part that you love me. If you had said that, I might've believed what you told me, but-" Kensi stood up and stormed towards Deeks.

"I told you that because I thought, that after two years of being partners, that you might trust me." Kensi screamed at the man less than 6 inches from her face.

"Kensi, I trust you with my life, but I didn't believe that Jack had a hit on me because if was coming from you. I didn't think that would be how you would tell me I could be dead. Now, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I just have one question. Why did you come after Jack and why didn't you let him shoot me?"

"Really Deeks! I said I love you and you don't think that's why I shot Jack! I shot Jack because there is no way to repair what we had, but there was a way to repair the thing we had back there." Kensi said.

"Can I do something first?" Deeks asked.

"What do you want to do, Deeks?" She retorted.

"I said I loved you, which I do, but I've only kissed you once and normally, people know their in love after more than one kiss. I do love you, with all my heart, Kens, but I really want to kiss you again, and I know this is not the time, but can I just re-live my favorite, best, most perfect kiss with you again, so can I?" Deeks asked. Kensi saw the love he so wanted in his baby blue eyes.

"Really? Really, Deeks?" Kensi asked. "This is not the ti-"

Deeks pulled Kensi by the waist and kissed Kensi with the most passion he could create at the moment, pausing her anger towards him for the night. He parts. "I took that as a no, but I knew I wouldn't get another chance." Deeks joked. Kensi felt in heaven, but had to fake that she wasn't angry at him.

"What the hell, Deeks!" Kensi yelled.

"I told you I loved you and I meant what I said, so I showed you what you seem to not believe." He replied. "So I kissed you."

"So you kissed me. You kissed me." She said looking down at the floor. "..don't get me wrong, I actually like that kiss." She mumbled.

"What did you say? Kens, I know you liked that kiss." Deeks told her.

"Huh? That doesn't make me from hating you at the moment." Kensi said. She smiled and so did he.

**TBC...**

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A/N: This story kinda popped into my head last night. Didn't know it was so long. But there will be more chapters. Thanks, and please R & R! - Lauren


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